Observe and Describe - The Mindfulness Skill That Makes Everything Else Possible
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy | written by Beverly Leftwich LMFT
There is a skill that underlies every other tool in both CBT and DBT. It is not the most dramatic skill or the one that produces the most immediate relief. But without it, nothing else works particularly well.
You cannot challenge a thought you haven't seen. You cannot regulate an emotion you haven't named. You cannot accept a reality you haven't acknowledged and you cannot work with a thinking pattern you haven't noticed.
Everything begins with observing. And observing is a skill — one that can be learned, practiced, and deepened over time.
What Observe and Describe actually means
Observe and Describe is a core mindfulness skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan. Its premise is elegant in its simplicity - before you react, or try to change anything — first observe what is actually happening. Then describe it in words.
Observing means stepping back just enough to witness your own experience rather than being entirely inside it. Creating a slight, deliberate distance between you and what you are experiencing, enough space to see it clearly.
Describing means putting what you observe into words. Simply and without judgment. Not a story about what it means or a judgment about whether it should be happening. Just noticing - what is actually here, right now?
These two skills together — observing and describing — do something subtle but very helpful. They engage a different part of the brain from the one generating the emotion. And that shift changes the way you are able to regulate your emotions.
You are not your emotion
When a powerful emotion arises, it can feel like a tidal wave — as though it is about to overwhelm everything, and wash away your sense of self. In those moments, the emotion can feel all encompassing. It can feel like who you are, rather than something you are experiencing.
This is an important distinctions – not identifying with your emotions. You are not your emotion. You are the one who can observe it.
The observer — the part of you that can step back and watch your own emotional experience — is always steadier than what it is observing. It was there before the emotion arrived. It will be there after the emotion passes. Emotions – even strong ones – do not stick around for very long. While they are present, observing and naming them is a way to stay grounded until it passes.
That shift is not small. It is the foundation of resilience.
The neuroscience of naming
Describing what you observe — putting the experience into words — does something specific in the brain. When a strong emotion fires in the limbic system, it can feel all-consuming. But the act of naming the emotion activates the prefrontal cortex — the brain's language and reasoning center — and balances out the intensity of the emotion.
Simply saying — even silently — "I notice I am feeling anxious right now" initiates a neurological shift. The strong emotion does not disappear. But it begins to lose the power to sweep you away. You are no longer entirely inside the experience. You are also observing it. And that is enough to help you stay balanced and cope.
This is why journaling helps. This is why talking to someone you trust about a difficult experience can shift it. The act of finding words — of translating raw emotional experience into language — is itself a form of regulation.
The CBT connection
In CBT, one of the most powerful questions a therapist can ask is: "What are you telling yourself about this situation?"
That question is an act of observation. It invites one to step back from the automatic thought — the interpretation running so quickly below the surface that it feels like fact — and see it clearly and name it. Once it is seen, it can be explored, and perhaps lead to a more balanced, realistic way of seeing the situation.
You cannot work with what you cannot see. Observe and Describe is the skill that makes everything else visible — both in CBT and in DBT therapy.
A practice for right now
Notice what you are feeling at this moment. It doesn't need to be intense or dramatic. Even a mild background hum of feeling is enough to work with.
See if you can find a word for it. Not a judgment — just a name.
Then try saying: "I notice I am feeling ___."
Stay with that for a moment. Notice whether anything shifts — even slightly.
That small act, practiced consistently, is how the brain learns to work with experience rather than feel overwhelmed by it. Observe and Describe are foundational skills that will support your ability to manage your thoughts and emotions.
Once you can see it and name, you can work with it.
If you'd like to explore how neuroscience-informed approaches to Dialectical Behavior Therapy can help you manage stress and build lasting calm, I invite you to learn more — or to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.